Author Archives: gelman

Verbiage

I was at a business meeting the other day, and we were reviewing a fundraiser we had done.  I noticed that the term “older women” was used often to describe many of the people who had been very helpful and contributory to the fundraiser.  After I heard the term a few times, I made a comment, noting that the age bracket was not necessary to stipulate in this context.

I know, you are shocked that I said anything.

ACHIEVEMENTS

When I had surgery recently, the assistant to the anesthesiologist came into the room to ask me questions.  We finished, and then she wheeled me into the operating room.  When we entered, the anesthesiologist introduced herself.  I commented on my pleasure that both were women.  They did not respond.

I appreciate that these women achieved what they did.  I hope they do too.

Breakfast?

I missed free breakfast at my business group meeting last week.  I was having a colonoscopy, so most understand why I was unable to attend the meeting.  I will return to day.  Should I order a breakfast and pay for it just to compensate for the once a month one I missed?  I never eat breakfast anyway.  It is just the idea.

Coffee will be my order.  Sometimes I am able to ruminate about minor things.

Being a Mom

Got a call from my daughter who works in Thousand Oaks.  The area was evacuated due to a wild fire.  There are thousands of employees where she works. She was stuck in the parking lot surrounded by black sky during daylight.  No cars were moving.  She was scared, so was I.  She was low on gas.  More to worry about.

It took her two hours to get home.  The panic never ceases.

Pre Surgery

I was scheduled for a 45-minute phone consultation with the anesthesia department.  They were to call between 9-11 am.  I arranged clients accordingly. They did not call.  I called them.  “Oh, my, I need to talk to the supervisor; you were supposed to be the first call.”  Another call comes in.  It is the person I was scheduled with, apologizing for being late.  We went over the prep and arrangements.

I chose to remain optimistic that their timing will be accurate during surgery.

Titles

When I turned forty, I decided to not refer to people by their titles anymore (Dr., Mr., Mrs., Ms., Professor, Father, etc.).  I was an adult and we could all be on a first name basis.  I have followed this decision.  I encourage my clients to call me Natalie, not Dr. Gelman.  I respect whatever choice they make.

Last night I went to a small social gathering to interact with the new Rabbi of the Temple I belong to.  A woman asked her what her first name was.  She replied, “Rabbi.”  She clarified that she would not share her first name because she wants to be called Rabbi in any setting that has to do with her professional role.

I respect her decision.  I will not be close to her.

Selfish

Had the family over to celebrate two birthdays.  I decided to try a new recipe for a cake.  I bake all the time, but entertain myself with new recipes periodically.  This was a peach/caramel/bourbon cake.

All of my eight guests loved it.  I did not.  I will not make it again.  I have always followed this guide to cooking.  I have to like it a lot to make it.

The recipe is available to those who want it.

Fingerprints

When I decided to substitute part time in Maine, I had to have my fingerprints checked.  I had been living there for six years and owned a restaurant.  I discovered I had no fingerprints.  The agent asked me if I washed dishes a lot.  I told him I did pots and pans daily.  He said that would explain the problem and alternative ways of having my prints visible worked.

In California I had to have my fingerprints recorded to join the gym.  Each day I go, I enter my phone number on the machine and place my finger on the scanner.  It typically does not surface properly and I have to give additional information to get through, unless the person at the desk remembers me.

Avoid doing dishes.  It is a hazard to your identity.

A Day Off

Yesterday was Sunday.  I had no plans until noon.  I began by making baby back ribs. Then I washed the upholstery on my sofa; there had been a couple of stains.  That meant adding some laundry to the wash. Then I washed the windows on the inside.  Then I wiped the front of the refrigerator.  Then I went to Rhythmix for a special event. Then I came home and read.  Fixed dinner.  Discovered that my DVR screwed up my recordings and spent the remainder of the evening on the phone with AT&T, the second time this week.

I went to the gym this morning and worked off stress.

True Feelings

A woman told me a story about her mother calling and asking if there was time to get together.  The daughter does not enjoy time with her mother, but did not know how to avoid making a commitment.  When she told me she said she needed to check her calendar, she smiled.  When I asked her how she felt about getting together with her mother, she smiled.  She smiled when she allowed herself to feel the truth: she did not want to be with her mother.  Unfortunately, she still does not know how to avoid being with her.  She feels guilty.

I wish she could see the smile on her face when she allows herself to experience the dislike she has toward her parent.  It is more pleasant than the frown she has when she is with her.