Author Archives: gelman

Genetic Connection?

Whenever I have guests for dinner, I tell then when it is time to end the event.  Either I sense there is no more to talk about, or I am tired and ready to have them leave so I can do dishes and clean up.  My friends like this.  No one is ever concerned about staying too long.

I had a party.  There were 24 people in the house.  One friend asked if it was time to leave, being cute.  I said it was not my choice this evening.  My 14-year-old grandson was there.  He knows nothing about my ritual.  I said, “Isaac, is it time for the guests to leave?”  He was engaged in conversation with someone at the time.  He looked at his watch and said, “Not yet.”  I asked him when they should leave and he said, “7:15.”  I asked him the current time and he said “7:10.”

My friends all laughed and suggested Isaac and I are related.

Shocking

I have a smartphone that was a hand-me-down five years ago.  I use it when I travel.  I have a landline for home and office.  On a recent journey, I discovered I needed to recharge it far more often.  I suspected the battery was going.  And so, as soon as Julie arrived by plane, we headed to Verizon.  Buy a phone myself?  No chance.  Julie took care of all of the data, etc.

I bought an 8.  Anyone who knows me should be surprised.

Pie Again

I posted a while back about making a pie that Erik chose not to share when I gave him the leftovers.  I made an ice cream pie for Julie this weekend as she came for a visit.  She commented that she wished Isaac and Ari could have some.  They were coming over for a party at my home that night, so I called and invited them to sleep over.  They did.

Guess what they had for breakfast the next morning?

A Major Loss

One of my favorite people died this week.  She was my former mother-in-law.  I knew her for fifty years.  After my divorce, we remained close.  I visited her whenever I was in Detroit and spoke on the phone frequently.  She was a listener.  I recall her giving unsolicited advice once.  My mother was dying and she was afraid I was taking on too many responsibilities.  I explained why I made the choices I did and she supported me.  She was devoted to my children and to her greatgrandchildren.  Hearing about them were her favorite stories. We loved each other unconditionally.

I miss her.

Correspondence

Isaac and Ari went to camp.  I mailed them cards before they left because it takes a while for them to reach the camp.  I received a card from Isaac from Canada, not long after he left.  When they returned, I spoke with both and thanked Isaac for the card.  I told Ari I was aware he had sent his aunt a card.  He said that he did not have time to write this year and reminded me there was one year when he sent no one a card.

I choose to let this pass.

Sexism

I go to the gym three times a week.  I spend much time watching people.  There are couples who work out together or, at least, come at the same time. There are a few that draw my attention.  I am aware that the men always walk in front or the women, even when not walking single file.  There is one man who comes from the weight room and walks over to the woman on the treadmill.  He nods, she gets off the treadmill, and they walk to the front door.  He hands her his bag.  He opens the front door and exits in front of her.  She follows, bag in hand.

I have remained quiet.

Repeat Behaviour

Erik had a kidney stone and, at times, was in major pain.  He told me he had his annual checkup with his primary care physician and asked if I would drive him lest he was taking a painkiller at the time.  He did not want to drive.  I took him, and, at the end of his appointment, his doctor came out and introduced himself to me.  He thanked me for bringing Erik.  I told him it had been years, but in the past, I had also taken Erik to medical appointments.

I am thrilled I am still available!

Guest for Dinner

Erik came over for dinner the other night.  Isaac and Ari are at camp and Ellen had a friend visiting unexpectedly.  I had made a dessert I thought Ellen would like.  I had a great time, as always, with Erik.  It is meaningful to so fully enjoy my time with each of my kids.  When he left, I gave him the pie to take home.  When I spoke with him two days later, I mentioned that since the pie is frozen, he can keep it until the boys come home.  He said that would not happen.

I tried guys.

Acknowledgement

I go to the gym three days a week at the same time.  I see many of the same people each time, but I have never talked to them.  I know their patterns.  I was aware that one woman I saw each time was not there for a long time.  When she returned, I was walking past her and I mentioned that I had not seen her for a long time.  She said she had foot surgery and was gone for three months.  For a few days, we smiled and said hello.  As I was leaving one day, she asked me my name and introduced me to another man she was talking to.

I now know the names of two people I have seen for almost two years.

Revisiting Family

My cousin came to visit.  I have not seen her in a long time.  My daughter-in-law went to Norway to visit family.  The heightened awareness that can result from these times together enhance our lives.  There is always the chance of a new revelation.

Visit someone.